Now that I have a family and am a bit older, I feel much less ambitious. I no longer feel the desire to build a business, or hack on side projects. Granted, a lot of this is because I have less time, but even at work, i feel absolutely no desire to learn new things, or get a promotion.
Is there any way I can revive that ambition again?
To build motivation I spend time actually day-dreaming about success. I am trying to get an emotional involvement with an exact vision of what success would be like. I want to emotionally experience success and develop a yearning for it.
That is what I need to get started on a project. Once I'm started, I find that it is often easy to get so involved in what I'm doing that it becomes hard to stop. Remember those all-nighters when you just couldn't bare to stop. You were in the grove. You were hot!
That's it. Get emotionally involved with success and get in the grove to get it done.
What helped me is that treat “finding your vision” less like a high-pressure quest, more like playing a game—keep asking yourself honest questions (no pressure), make a bucket list, and use first principles to understand what really matters to you. For me, it took 18 months... This process is a lot like starting a company from scratch.
Keep exploring, stay curious, and don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t have big desires right now. That’s okay too.
Sounds like your job is boring, maybe take a risk?
You won’t be hungry unless you’re hungry which you likely can’t do without putting your family at risk. So maybe focus on the ambition aspect and find something that lights your fire. What’s a challenge or stretch goal you would have fun working towards? Maybe start small and then scale up as you rebuild the muscle.
Oh and manage your expectations. You might no longer have the wild burning distracted passion as you did when you were younger, but you might have the measured, genuine curiosity of an experienced adult, and you should own that.
The list of things I consider more important at this point in my life outside of work are spending time with my wife, travel (working remotely we do a lot of it), flying down to see my parents for a week a few times a year, getting better at Spanish in prep for our two or three months a year we plan to spend in Costa Rica, exercise, hanging out with friends, etc.
As far as starting a business, why would I want the headache? Money appears in my account whether I’m sick or on vacation. If the company folds, I get another job like I have done now 10x in my career.
I have worked full time for cloud consulting companies (well the department at AWS until 2023) for five years. I have the network, reputation and skill set to make a lot more money if I went independent or work somewhere else that would force me to work harder.
I learn new things at work not on the side because I never want to be in a position where I feel stuck because my skills are outdated and never want to be scrambling for a job.